Spirit of Living (Part 5) – My Personal Story

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

As many of you know, I have a disability - Cerebral Palsy.  It is a condition caused by lack of oxygen at birth.  I was born 7 in a half weeks early, and it is very likely, I had a stroke at birth, which caused the complications. Three limbs of my body are severely affected.  I really only have total use of one arm.  I have some use in my legs, but not a lot.  Many people with CP have speech problems, but I do not – Praise God!

Because of my disability, many people assume that life is hard for me.  Growing up, a baby goes through stages and explores everything.  A baby learns how to hold his/her head up, roll, sit up, crawl, pull up, stand, and walk. Although my stages looked different, I leaned to cope and use the muscles that worked.  I learned to scoot and crawl using one arm and minimal use in my legs. I learned to dress myself, eat, drink, and do all other daily tasks with just one arm.  I “walked” on my knees and played.  To me, my life was normal.  I felt loved and accepted - life was great! 

Then, I started school. My first memory was when I was in kindergarten. I couldn't push myself because I only had use of my left arm, so I had to rely on others to push me from place to place. We had the first fire drill. As all the students were running to get in line. I crawled as fast as I could to my wheelchair. The teacher told everyone to hurry. Everyone ran out of the room, but they forgot something important....ME.

The teacher and all my helpers left me alone. Total fear swept over me! I feared going to school for weeks after that happened. Now, good came out of it because this was the situation that led me to get an electric wheelchair and gain my independence, but my first memory was of abandonment.

During much of my school years, it seemed I was neglected, rejected, and abandoned a lot. Others always seemed to point out my differences, call me names, make fun of my right arm, and leave me alone to play.  My parents saw this and it hurt them to see the challenges I faced. Out of love, they began to take me to physical therapy and healing services.  They wanted me to be able to walk and have a “normal” life.  But, you see, before I started interacting with the world, I was a confident, happy, continent little girl.  Essentially, I was comfortable with who I was created to be in Christ.  Little by little, I began to let others’ “worldly” view define who I was instead of allowing the God who created me define me. The only way to find significance and self-worth is to allow God to show you who you are in Christ, through the Holy Spirit.

To be continued....